2 The Harvey Awards for Stupid Students

There are the Darwin and the Stella Wards. Why not the Harvey Awards for stupid students? I am naming them for my friend Harvey of blessed memory who taught at the same high school I did. He would teach Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. On Thursday, he would review, and write the answers to the multiple choice test. On Friday, he would give the test and half the students would fail. Harvey would thank them for not doing their work because he would see them in summer school and be able to make enough money to give one his sons a car.

Entrees for stupidest student of the year should be submitted by June 15. Winners will be announced on June 30.

Here is my worst candidate for this dubious honor. We will call her Adrienne. She received a take-home midterm examination. “Essay no. 3. Explain how five inventions or ideas from the Sumeria have changed the world” was typical of the questions asked. The students had two weeks to work on this examination. They could help one another but the papers had to be done individually. When I read her submission, I gave her 10 points out of a 100 because she had not really answered the questions. I asked her how she did so poorly. She explained she did the work at the last moment and really did not understand the questions. I said you could have e-mailed me or contacted me.

I gave her a chance for a redo. We had the spring break of a week coming up so she could work on it. After the spring break was over, Adrienne came over to ask me if she could visit a museum for extra credit. I said yes if she had done the regular work. She explained she had been too busy to rewrite the midterm. I told her that I was not in the habit of giving extra credit work in place of the regular work that had not been done.

I e-mailed her the night before class to bring in the midterm. At the end of class, I asked if she had handed in the midterm examination. She said yes. I found homeworks she had submitted along with the revised term paper but no midterm examination. When I spoke to her the next occasion, she claimed she had e-mailed me her assignment. I told her that I had asked her to bring in a hard copy. Since, I had already given her a 010 for her grade; I was doing her the favor. This was now the fifth request for a copy of the re-do.

The midterm project by Adrienne was another story. I gave her first version back on Tuesday the same day I told her to bring the revised midterm for Thursday.
I explained she had failed to follow directions and she had received a 20 out of a possible 100. I showed her the work submitted by another student. She argued whether she had to submit a complete bibliography. I told her yes. She said wanted to submit only half the bibliography. I said she would then get partial credit. Looking at the revised term paper, she had followed some directions but she still merited a 54 on her revised term project. She omitted the bibliography which if she had done would have given the paper a passing grade. When I asked why she did not follow directions this time. She explained that she had done w ht I had requested—write a bibliography. Questioned further, she explained she confused biography and bibliography. In a brief discussion, she had no real clue what this is. She would bring in the third draft on Thursday.

Adrienne also does her homework assignments in class. When I call upon her, she does not have the answer to the particular question but at the end of the period, she hands in the complete assignment. She appears to have the inability to listen to directions and then to follow directions. I had also told the student not read The New York Times in class at one point. I knew she could read but apparently not well enough to follow directions.